out of service

so today i woke up to some bad news. And you know what, i wasn't even surprised. because everything bad always happens to me. no matter how much positivity i put out into the world, i just get ambushed with bad luck. im really getting tired of this. then on top of that, when i try & contact my "friends" to discuss the matter, no one's  phone seems to be in service. funny huh? well im going to start doing the same. actually scratch that. i wont stoop to the levels of my demons. no matter how hard i try i cant seem to be the bad person that people are to me. its just not in me. but one day i will end it all. maybe with a slit. or maybe with a pill bottle. but either way i will end my suffering on this disgusting excuse of a planet. and then they will call me. trying to get a hold of me. leaving countless voicemails, asking if it's true. " are you really dead?"  " pick up the phone" they'll say. but the only response they will get is the operator's, as she says " were sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is out of service". then it'll hit them, all those times i called , all the voice mails i left, they all meant something. they were just too "busy" to listen. i have confronted my demons, i'm well aware of how my choices will affect people. but have you? because even the smallest of decisions, such as picking up a phone call, can have the biggest side affect. just like the butterfly effect.

In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state.

There's a natural law of karma that vindictive people, who go out of their way to hurt others, will end up broken and alone.  ~Sylvester Stallone