i leave this to you

I live in one of many possible realities. which means the number of outcomes and events are infinite. And i'm grateful that i happened to be place onto this reality,this imperfect timeline. Because even though times may seem hard, and i fall off a lot... i also get up a lot. I've learned that the best way to deal with the bad is to not avoid it, but to embrace it. i don't know how long i have here in this life, but i know that i have to make the best of every moment that i'm here. i used to focus so much on the bad, when there was good in front of me all along. i just wanted to take this time out to say that everything is going to be okay, even when the odds are saying otherwise.

so today i woke up to some bad news. And you know what, i wasn't even surprised. because everything bad always happens to me. no matter how much positivity i put out into the world, i just get ambushed with bad luck. im really getting tired of this. then on top of that, when i try & contact my "friends" to discuss the matter, no one's  phone seems to be in service. funny huh? well im going to start doing the same. actually scratch that. i wont stoop to the levels of my demons. no matter how hard i try i cant seem to be the bad person that people are to me. its just not in me. but one day i will end it all. maybe with a slit. or maybe with a pill bottle. but either way i will end my suffering on this disgusting excuse of a planet. and then they will call me. trying to get a hold of me. leaving countless voicemails, asking if it's true. " are you really dead?"  " pick up the phone" they'll say. but the only response they will get is the o

Today's blog is going to be a hell of a post. I've recently discovered that having integrity is no longer a thing. my whole life i have been big on trust & respect. but i cant seem to find either of those things anymore. its like everyone i get close to betrays me. so today a friend, or shall i say friends, betrayed me. they did both of the two things i begged them not to do. DON'T LIE TO ME & DO NOT EVER DISRESPECT ME. but it seems like whatever you ask of people they do the exact opposite. so these friends of my sat down, in a circle, all ears, and entertained someone who was speaking bad about me. Now remember i am in high school. So yeah it wasn't like i was oblivious to the idea of something like this happening to me. i just didn't think it would happen by the few people i call friends. but that's what i do best. i look for the good in people. But that's not even the worst part. the thing is these "friends" who speak bad about me wo

Juicy blog coming tomorrow. Would have posted today but ive been super busy. Goodnight lovebugs💗

be sure to leave comments under my blogs. even if you think what you have to say will hurt me. i could really use some advice on my life. so just leave me a comment. hell you can even leave it anonymously. id really like to get to know my viewers

you wanna know the best thing about this whole blog thing? its that i can come and go as i please. No schedule no obligations, the choice is all mine. but anyways back to why i'm here. i have this issue with guys. i mean they're cute and all, but its like i'm only  attracted to them to a certain extent. because i'm soo hung up on this one guy from middle school. ( i'm in high school btw)  its like i'll talk to a guy for about a week, then lose interest. because this guy i met in middle school is one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. not beautiful as in looks (although he did meet that criteria) it his soul i'm so attracted to. which i know sounds like a corny romantic show, but its true. everything about him is so admiring. from the way he talks to the way he views the world. all of it has this unique beauty to it. and when you attend the kind of high school i attend, its hard to find someone like him. i mean yeah, ill come across someone nice